Friday, June 11, 2010

England world cup squad looks a bit shit, now I come to think of it

Now don't get me wrong, on their day, this bunch of English hopefuls deserves to be compared with the best in the world. But let's take a look at the facts.
I am prepared to ignore the warm up games, they always remind me of boxing movies, but I think there are a few things we are ignoring in the mists of our hopes. Here's World Cup Ranter's paranoid English fan's guide to brush away those English rose tinted glasses.. forever...

Steven Gerrard. Yes, I think he's great. I wanted him to be captain more than Ferdinand. But he's looked a bit desperate recently, and I am worried he'll be overworked and underused just as in the bad old days.
Ferdinand. Without doubt a form worry if he had played, but without doubt an out of form Ferdinand is still better than a less than outstanding performance from his possible replacements. A big loss.
The Barry obsession. He is absolutely the right player for the job, but it feels like Pele has his leg up by the way the England manager has reacted. No one out of form, no one unfit, those were his rules. For a captain or a Rooney I can understand bending the rules. A Barry that hasn't played for months? Sorry, but he isn't good enough to hold up your team picks, planning, consistent formation and team spirit for.
Rooney. Looks brilliant. In the winter months.

Cole/Johnson - a pair of truly brilliantly skilled outstanding committed game-winning clowns.

Carrick/Carragher/Upson - bunch of arse.
King/Milner/SWP/Lennon/Heskey - Can't remember. Computer almost certainly says No.
Chelsea boys - depends if they've got their end away/would quite like to see Joe Cole is playing. Terry starting to look like competitive dad being beaten by his child.
In goal - There are bold pilots, and there are old pilots. But there are no, old, bold pilots. Anyone got a coin?