New Football Slang#1: "Chunky Wants A Biscuit"

In an attempt to reinvigorate conversation during football, World Cup Ranter is to provide you with a dialogue and sense of originality that will make you look slightly odd to your friends.
THIS WEEK: "CHUNKY WANTS A BISCUIT"
Brief Summary: When a massive central defender (chunky) with little ball skill makes a bid for glory with a run from his own half that ends in embarassment.
Full story: You've seen it happen. The biggest fella on the park, and he suddenly thinks he's Maradonna. The big centre half picks up the ball in the centre circle and effectively turns a centre forward, takes a couple of steps forward beats a midfielder, another midfielder and suddenly the space starts to open out in front of him. His next move should be to spread it to the wings or at the very least look for a side pass to an attacking midfielder.
But no, chunky doesn't do this. Because chunky thinks this is his moment. He can hear the crowd starting to cheer. And he has just beaten two players. He is suddenly a footballing god.
So he takes another touch of the ball and suddenly he's only 30 yards out from goal.
His face now showing the extreme concentration of a man out of his depth, he then takes another touch but over runs the ball this time.
Desperately trying to hit his stride to line up a shot, his legs start to overstretch.
His mistake has been spotted by an opposition player, who with his greater speed nips the ball away from chunky just before his foot follows through.
Chunky stumbles and falls to the floor, leaving the defence now vulnerable to a counter attack.
Attack over.
Why?
Chunky wants a biscuit.